Saturday, April 2, 2011

Those Who Teach Us

It's hard realiziing you aren't the one who knows best anymore. And that, honestly, you're not in control of anything.

There are a few things you absolutely cannot make happen no matter how hard you try. You cannot make a baby eat. Or pee or poo on command, for that matter. And pretty early on, babies realize that's one play of power they have over you. (And they quickly discover others.)

You cannot make someone love you. Or, if you do, you will end up hating them for it, so what's the point? Love is just that quirky, elusive thing we want on our terms, but that happens to have a plan and timeframe all its own.

You cannot beat aging. Nope. No facelift, exercise regime, diet or wardrobe can efface the passage of time across your soul, which translates into EXPERIENCE. And that, my friend, is indelibly written in your eyes.

And -- this one really hurts -- you cannot always do what's best for your kids because sometimes, suddenly, they just know better. I don't just mean about new technology or music. I mean they know something you don't No matter what values you instilled in them as they grew, they sometimes know a better way to relate to money, or support a friend, or get over heartache, or make the best of a lousy situation, or forgive someone, or do what you're sure they can't do without you. My daughter has amazed me on all of these fronts.

They teach us. They teach us to accept, to let go, to trust and to listen to a different beat. They kind of leave us no choice, because as they become 'human' as my daughter calls it, we really don't control them or anything that happens to them anymore. Beyond choosing what they wear when they're very young and deciding whether they'll have that ice cream before or after dinner, we pretty much don't control a thing. They grow. They learn. And they teach us that Life will happen of its own accord, and we had better live by its terms.

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